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Am I really all in? Or am I like the goats who will say “Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?” I can tell you that words that scare me more than anything else in this world is “Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me” or “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoer!”

Gandhi said “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

I want to be like my Christ, my Lord, my Savior, I want to not just Follow Jesus but to emulate Him, not just do enough to get by but to live a life that defies explanation outside of my personal relationship with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

I don’t want to be known for what I don’t believe in or what I judge as wrong, I don’t know anyone who has come to know my Lord and Savior from a “TURN OR BURN” sign or any other hate speech. I want to be known for my love, my tenderness, my compassion, my generosity, my stand for justice, my mercy and for walking humbly with my God.

I want to go all in on Jesus, I don’t want to keep control of anything, I want my life to follow the path He has laid out for me.

So what’s stopping me? Fear, comfort, prosperity, materialism, greed, the chase of the American Dream and I could go on for hours. Truth is I focus more on the body than I do on the soul, more on the natural than I do on the supernatural, more on the physical than I do on the spiritual, which means my focus is mostly on the temporary instead of the eternal. Trust me on paper this is like looking at 2 + 2 and going “of course it’s 4” but it is much harder to live than it is to lay it out on paper.

It’s actually kind of funny that as I was getting ready to write out a heartfelt prayer asking to break me of these things, I felt fear…no really…fear of “what if God answers my prayer? What then, what if His answer to my prayer is taking all of those barriers away, what if that means my business failing, going bankrupt and being homeless, what if it means doing away with all of my toys and not going on nice vacations, what if it means a called to full time service at a church or in the mission field, what if it interferes with my plans, goals and ambitions?

Am I ready for that kind of “follow”? Am I really willing to pick up my cross daily? Am I ready to burn the plow like Elisha? Am I willing to leave my career like the apostles? Am I willing to die to self?

I think I am, I don’t want Jesus to just be my savior but to be my Lord and Lord over ALL, over my life, my family, my business, my finances, my goals, my plans, my everything. Lord I have managed to live my life with you at my side or behind me, no more Lord! Lord please be my Lord and Savior, I give my life to you, not pieces of it but ALL OF IT! I pray Lord that the Holy Spirit will guide me to be who and what You want me to be, I want to follow You and Your will for my life, I want to give up all control and submit my life to You! Please give me a new heart that focuses on Your will and not mine, the eternal and not the temporary! Praise to You Lord Jesus Christ and in Your Holy Name I pray!